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Worthless Clippers

On the way to work I stopped by the Winn-Dixie to pick up an orange and a carton of milk for breakfast, when I realized I needed a pair of fingernail clippers.

Normally I have a pair sitting at my desk at work, but that stuff is all packed up due to the forthcoming office closure, and I knew I’d never find them.  So against my better judgment, I bought a pair of nail clippers bearing the Winn-Dixie brand.

Holy shit.

These things fall less in the “nail clipper” category and more in the “small pair of pliers” category.

Nail clippers aren’t really a complex machine.  All you need is two sharp,  aligned surfaces and a small fulcrum to push them together.  The rest is science.

These must be child-safe clippers, because all they appeared to do was to gently perforate my fingernail and allow me to then bend it back and forth, waiting for it to raggedly snap off, like you might do a piece of sheet metal.

I guess that’s what I get for buying a Winn-Dixie brand cosmetic tool.

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